Today’s post on the blog above was so thought provoking. Moving through the grief of a spouse/partner, parent, child and/or sibling is soul-stopping, heart-breaking, breath-taking, gut-wrenching, exhausting, and mind-numbing to say the least. My mom died when I was 14. Looking back, I think I just went through each day by habit – get up, get dressed, eat, walk to school, be at school, walk home, do homework, go to bed, repeat. I don’t even know when it got “easier.” All I know is that it’s true. Time does heal. However long that time is. My eyes are watering even now as I write this.
Back to the point of today’s post. My life changed when my mom died. How could it not? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. No, I don’t know the reason for a lot of things that happen in my life. My life, right now, wouldn’t be the way it is if it wasn’t for that one single, life-pivoting event. I have a wonderful husband who loves me fully; four beautiful, successful adult children; a gorgeous home and a lifestyle that I really enjoy. Not to mention a loving, caring family that I became a part of when I married my husband 28 years ago. I have traveled to places I never even heard of let alone dreamed of ever seeing, I have amazing friends and have met so many interesting people from different cultures.
Would my life be any different if she had lived? YES!! I would have never felt like I had to run away from CA and move to CO on a whim with my sister. I would have stayed in CA and never have met Atiq. Have I ever wondered what it would have been like had she lived? Only a bazillion, jillion times! But then I take a deep breath, come back to the present and move forward. Some days it’s harder than others. Even now.
It all comes back to that single moment. Pushing, wading and slogging through the grief of that time has helped me discover (eventually) who I am and what my “purpose” is. And my purpose is to Shine as brightly as I can and to just Be. I help and uplift others no matter where I am or what I’m doing (and I’m sure that’s what Danny and his family do every day) although on some days, I’ll admit I don’t feel like it. Letting my Light shine. Remember that Sunday School song?
Shining brightly. What better purpose could there be?